Play & Enjoy

Everyone do something and enjoy in their life. For example Tiger Woods, him playing goft everyday and get money. So if you are atlete, give your 100% for your games.

Blind Kick Ball ( 18+ GAMES)

The game is simple and would work with any group of 18+. The rules are the same as kickball (3 outs/inning, foul balls, force outs, etc.). The twist is that the students play with a partner and one is blindfolded. At bat, the seeing player kicks the ball, but the blind player runs the bases. The seeing player can run alongside and coach, but may not touch the runner. In the field, the seeing player can catch or stop the ball, but not throw or tag a runner.

They can, however, touch their own blind partner to guide them to throw the ball or lead them to tag the runner. Players alternate being blindfolded each inning. This game is HILARIOUS to watch! It enjoyed games and funny.

(We had an audience at the public park where we were playing.) The Point: Trust, faith, helping each other along in our faith journeys.

Negotiation

Although there are common patterns, there is no one best way to deal with conflict. Disputes arise for different reasons and every team is unique. Varney proposes that negotiation is the most effective response to conflict when both parties stand to gain something, each has some power,and there is interdependency.

Negotiation offers flexibility and viability other responses, such as Avoidance, Confrontation, and Diffusion lack. The process of negotiation involves listening to both sides, seeking out common areas of interest and agreement, and building on them so that individuals can understand each other's points of view.

Varney believes there are four essential skills team leaders need to learn and apply to effectively resolve disagreements using the negotiation process:

Diagnosis: Recognizing areas of understanding and areas of differences.

Initiation: Bringing the disagreements to the surface.

Listening: Hearing not only what the other person is saying, but the Emotional aspects as well.

Problem Solving: A process with numerous steps including data gathering, Considering its impact, examining alternatives, identifying solutions, and developing a plan of action.

Five-P's of Conflict Management

Perceptions:
People associate conflict with negative responses such as anger, fear, tension, and anxiety. Rarely do we perceive any benefits from being involved in a dispute. Our negative perceptions impact ourapproach in resolving conflict as we strive to eliminate the source of these negative feelings.

Problems:
Anyone can be involved in a conflict, and the amount of time, money, and equipment needed for resolution will vary according to its complexity.

Processes:
There are different ways to go about resolving disputes: Suppress the conflict, give in, fight, litigate, mediate, etc.

Principles:
We determine the priorities of all resolution processes on the basis of an analysis of our fundamental values regarding efficiency, participation, fairness, compliance, etc.Practices:
Power, self-interest, and unique situations are all factors relating to why people resolve disputes the way they do.

Stulberg proposed these patterns as an aid for formal mediators, but anyone dealing with conflict can benefit from understanding the elements common to disagreements.

Team Resolution Process

Rayeski and Bryant (1994) recommend using the Team Resolution Process to handle conflict when it occurs in teams. Conflict should first be handled on an informal basis between the individuals involved. This, they say, will allow time for resolution or self-correction by the individuals. If the conflict remains unsettled, a mediator can be brought in to help resolvethe situation. If resolution is still not achieved the dispute should be openly discussed in a team meeting. A formal discipline process needs to occur, if resolution is not achieved after being addressed at the team level.

The escalating process of Team Resolution is as follows:

1. Collaboration (One-on-one):
Handle the new problem person-to-person. Use as many facts as possible and relate the issue to customer, team, or organizational needs. Be open and honest and conduct the session in a private setting. Document the concerns or issues, the dates, and the resolution, if any, and have both parties sign it.

2. Mediation (One-on-one with Mediator):
If collaboration did not work or was inappropriate, handle the problem with a mediator. The mediator must be trained in conflict resolution, understand policy and ethics, be trusted by the team, and have the ability to remain neutral. Gather facts and talk over the issue with the people involved. Bring up as many facts as possible and relate the issue to customer, team, ororganizational needs. Be open and honest and conduct the mediation session in private. Document it and have all parties sign.

3. Team Counseling:
The conflict is now a definite issue to the team. Collaboration and/or Mediation could not be done, were not appropriate, or did not work. Handle the conflict at a team meeting; put the problem on the next agenda and invite the necessary individuals. Again, bring up the facts, relate the issue to customer, team, or organizational needs. Be open and honest, discuss it in a private setting, document it, and have all parties sign it. Anyone on the team can put an issue or problem on the team agenda, however, this step should be used only after Collaboration, and Mediation has beenruled out.

Managing Cooperative Conflict

Though we often view conflict through a negative lens, teams require some conflict to operate effectively. Cooperative conflict can contribute to effective problem solving and decision making by motivating people to examine a problem. Encouraging the expression of many ideas; energizingpeople to seek a superior solution; and fostering integration of several ideas to create high-quality solutions (Tjosvold, 1988). The key is to understand how to handle it constructively. If members understand how to doit, differences that arise can result in benefits for a team.

While it is true that suppressed differences can reduce the effectiveness of a team, when they are brought to the surface, disagreements can be dealt with and problems can be resolved. The actual process of airing differences can help to increase the cohesiveness and effectiveness of the team through the increased interest and energy that often accompanies it. This in turnfosters creativity and intensity among team members. In addition, bringing differences to the surface can result in better ideas and more innovative solutions. When people share their views and strive toward reaching a consensus, better decisions are reached. Team members also improve their communication skills and become better at understanding and listening tothe information they receive when differences are freely aired. Fisher,Belgard, and Rayner (1995) offer these tips on improving listening skills

1. Listen for meaning.

2. Understanding is not agreeing.

3. Seek clarification before responding, if needed.

4. Apply listening skills when receiving a message.

5. Evaluate yourself for how well you listened at the end of anyconversation.

The tension of well-managed conflict allows teams to confront disagreement through healthy discussion and improve the decisions made (Rayeski & Bryant, 1994). This leads to greater team efficiency and effectiveness. Effectively managing conflict allows teams to stay focused on their goals.Swift and constructive conflict management leads to a broader understanding of the problem, healthy expression of different ideas or alternatives, and creates excitement from the positive interaction and involvement which will help the team through periods of transition and on to greater levels ofperformance.

As teams become more responsible for managing themselves, it is important for organizations to help them by identifying the knowledge, skills, and abilities (KSAs) required to handle conflict. Then developing plans to transfer these skills and capabilities over to their teams. Becauseconflict is inevitable in teams, the focus needs to be on how it is managed. Conflict that is poorly handled creates an environment of fear and avoidance of the subject. On the other hand, if properly managed, it can lead to learning, creativity, and growth.

Handling Negative Conflict

When negative conflict does occur there are five accepted methods forhandling it: Direct Approach, Bargaining, Enforcement, Retreat, andDe-emphasis (Nelson, 1995). Each can be used effectively in differentcircumstances.

1. Direct Approach: This may be the best approach of all. It concentrateson the leader confronting the issue head-on. Though conflict isuncomfortable to deal with, it is best to look at issues objectivelyand to face them as they are. If criticism is used, it must beconstructive to the recipients. This approach counts on the techniquesof problem-solving and normally leaves everyone with a sense ofresolution, because issues are brought to the surface and dealt with.

2. Bargaining: This is an excellent technique when both parties haveideas on a solution yet cannot find common ground. Often a thirdparty, such as a team leader, is needed to help find the compromise.Compromise involves give and take on both sides, however, and usuallyends up with both walking away equally dissatisfied.

3. Enforcement of Team Rules: Avoid using this method if possible, it canbring about hard feelings toward the leader and the team. Thistechnique is only used when it is obvious that a member does not wantto be a team player and refuses to work with the rest. If enforcementhas to be used on an individual, it may be best for that person tofind another team.

4. Retreat: Only use this method when the problem isn't real to beginwith. By simply avoiding it or working around it, a leader can oftendelay long enough for the individual to cool off. When used in theright environment by an experienced leader this technique can help toprevent minor incidents that are the result of someone having a badday from becoming real problems that should never have occurred.

5. De-emphasis: This is a form of bargaining where the emphasis is on theareas of agreement. When parties realize that there are areas wherethey are in agreement, they can often begin to move in a newdirection.

Conflict Issues

1. Administrative Procedures: If the team lacks good groundwork for whatit's doing, its members will not be able to coordinate their work.

2. People Resources: If the team does not have enough resources to do thejob, it is inevitable that some will carry too heavy a load.Resentment, often unexpressed, may build, so it is crucial that teamleaders ensure adequate resources.

3. Cost overruns: Often inevitable, cost overruns become a problem whenproper measures are not taken. The whole team should know early onwhen cost becomes a problem so additional funding can be sought by theteam. This way the problem can be resolved before it grows into aproblem for management.

4. Schedules: The schedule is highly consequential to the team's projectand should be highly visible. All members should be willing to worktogether to help each other meet their deadlines.

5. Responsibilities: Each team member must know what areas are assignedand who is accountable for them.

6. Wish Lists: Stick to the project at hand and avoid being sidetrackedinto trying to fit other things into it. Wait and do the other thingsyou would like to do after successful completion of the originalproject.

Conflict Arises From Differences.

When individuals come together in workteams their differences in terms of power, values and attitudes, and socialfactors all contribute to the creation of conflict. It is often difficultto expose the sources of conflict. Conflict can arise from numerous sourceswithin a team setting and generally falls into three categories:communication factors, structural factors and personal factors (Varney,1989). Barriers to communication are among the most important factors andcan be a major source of misunderstanding. Communication barriers includepoor listening skills; insufficient sharing of information; differences ininterpretation and perception; and nonverbal cues being ignored or missed.Structural disagreements include the size of the organization, turnoverrate, levels of participation, reward systems, and levels ofinterdependence among employees. Personal factors include things such as anindividual's self-esteem, their personal goals, values and needs. In orderfor conflict to be dealt with successfully, managers and team members mustunderstand its unpredictability and its impact on individuals and the teamas a whole.

Conflict in work teams is not necessarily destructive, however. Conflictcan lead to new ideas and approaches to organizational processes, andincreased interest in dealing with problems. Conflict, in this sense, canbe considered positive, as it facilitates the surfacing of important issuesand provides opportunities for people to develop their communication andinterpersonal skills. Conflict becomes negative when it is left to escalateto the point where people begin to feel defeated, and a combative climateof distrust and suspicion develops (Bowditch & Buono, 1997). Nelson (1995)cautions that negative conflict can destroy a team quickly, and oftenarises from poor planning. He offers this list of high potential areas fromwhich negative conflict issues commonly arise:

Resolving Conflict in Work Teams

A major advantage a team has over an individual is its diversity ofresources, knowledge, and ideas. However, diversity also produces conflict.As more and more organizations restructure to work teams the need fortraining in conflict resolution will continue to grow. Varney (1989)reports that conflict remained the number-one problem for most of the teamsoperating within a large energy company, even after repeated trainingsessions on how to resolve conflict and how to minimize the negative impacton team members. One reason for this may be that mangers and other leaderswithin organizations are not giving the issue of resolving conflict enoughattention. Varney's research showed that although most managers are awareof disagreements and have received training in conflict resolution, theyseldom assign a high priority to solving conflict problems. With this inmind, it is critical that team members possess skills to resolve conflictamong themselves.

Beckham Back To Real Madrid

David Beckham is back in the reckoning at Real Madrid after Fabio Capello reversed his decision to sideline the former England captain and included him in the squad for Saturday's league match at Real Sociedad.
Capello said Beckham's continued professionalism had persuaded him to backtrack on his pledge that the midfielder would never again play for Real following his announcement that he would be joining LA Galaxy at the end of the season.
We had doubts after he signed such an important contract with the American side," Capello told a news conference at Real's training base in Valdebebas.
"We doubted he could train with the same enthusiasm after that, but he has been training perfectly. He has always had the full support of his team mates. He has behaved like a great professional and is now returning to the squad.
"I'm counting on him until the end of the season."
Capello, whose position is under threat after back-to-back defeats in the league, said that the decision was his own and that he had not been pressured by either the players or the club's directors.
"It was down to Beckham's hard work and attitude. The intelligent thing to do is to correct things when mistakes are made. I spoke with him a week ago and again today. We are
very happy and he is too."
Club captain Raul, midfielder Guti and several other first team players had come out in support of Beckham in recent weeks saying he should continue playing until the end of his contract.
Beckham was embraced by several team mates including Raul after being given the news of his inclusion in the squad.
The 31-year-old midfielder said earlier this week he was desperate to play for Real again. "It is very hard for me because I would like to help the team," he told sports daily Marca.
"I'm desperate to play again ... I don't know if I will but I've got to keep on training. I want to leave this club on a high."
Spanish media have pointed to the fact that other players such as Barcelona's Javier Saviola and Valencia's Roberto Ayala, whose contracts also terminate at the end of the season, are still playing for their respective clubs. Beckham's last appearance for Real was when he came on as a substitute in their 2-0 defeat at Deportivo Coruna on January 7 a few days before announcing he had signed a five-year deal with LA Galaxy worth $250 million (128 million pounds

Beckham go MLS

Former England captain David Beckham is likely to make his Major League Soccer debut on August 5 when the Los Angeles Galaxy travel to Canada to take on the league's newest franchise Toronto FC.
According to the MLS schedule released on Tuesday, Beckham and the Galaxy will make stops in every league city except Dallas after he completes his contract with Real Madrid in mid-July.
Beckham has signed a five-year $250-million deal with Los Angeles.
Dallas could become the first North American city to welcome Beckham with the Galaxy scheduled to take on FC Dallas in a Super League clash in late July.
With the MLS schedule now confirmed, the announcement is likely to trigger another rush on ticket sales as fans look to catch a glimpse of the world's most recognizable soccer player.
News of Beckham's signing sparked a surge in ticket sales in Toronto with the club selling more than 3,000 seasons tickets in the days following the announcement.
The 12th MLS season will kick off on April 7 when four-times MLS Cup champion D.C. United visit the Colorado Rapids.

How To Avoid Dealing With Conflict?

Engaging in dialogue and negotiation around conflict is something we tend to approach with fear and hesitation, afraid that the conversation will go worse than the conflict has gone thus far. All too often, we talk ourselves out of potential dialogue:

"Why should I talk to him? She'll bite my head off and not listen to anything I have to say!" OR

"I should talk to him about this problem, but maybe it will go away on its own. There's no sense stirring up something that makes us both uncomfortable." OR

"If I go to him, I'm making myself vulnerable. No, that's his responsibility - he should come to me and ask me to talk!"

Our responses, as noted earlier, tend to include behaviors, feelings, thoughts and physical responses. If any of these responses indicates stress factors that make us reluctant to talk things out, we are more inclined to follow the pathway of avoidance. In addition, if we have history with the individuals involved in this conflict (i.e., we've tried to negotiate with them in the past, without success), it will "filter" our perceptions of this situation and make us reluctant to negotiate.

In addition, consider that our society tends to reward alternative responses to conflict, rather than negotiation: People who aggressively pursue their needs, competing rather than collaborating, are often satisfied by others who prefer to accommodate. Managers and leaders are often rewarded for their aggressive, controlling approaches to problems, rather than taking a more compassionate approach to issues that may seem less decisive to the public or their staffs. In other circumstances, those who raise issues and concerns, even respectfully, are quickly perceived to be "problem" clients or staff members… they tend to be avoided and minimized. In any of these approaches, negotiated solutions to conflicts are rarely modeled or held in high esteem.

Finally, we should keep in mind that negotiation requires profound courage on the part of all parties: It takes courage to honestly and clearly articulate your needs, and it takes courage to sit down and listen to your adversaries. It takes courage to look at your own role in the dispute, and it takes courage to approach others with a sense of empathy, openness and respect for their perspective. Collaborative approaches to conflict management require us to engage in the moment of dialogue in profound and meaningful ways, so it is understandable if we tend to avoid such situations until the balance of wisdom tips in favor of negotiation

The Role of Perceptions in Conflict For Worker & Employer

As noted in our basic definition of conflict, we define conflict as a disagreement through which the parties involved perceive a threat to their needs, interests or concerns. One key element of this definition is the idea that each party may have a different perception of any given situation. We can anticipate having such differences due to a number of factors that create "perceptual filters" that influence our responses to the situation:

Culture, race, and ethnicity: Our varying cultural backgrounds influence us to hold certain beliefs about the social structure of our world, as well as the role of conflict in that experience. We may have learned to value substantive, procedural and psychological needs differently as a result, thus influencing our willingness to engage in various modes of negotiation and efforts to manage the conflict

Gender and sexuality: Men and women often perceive situations somewhat differently, based on both their experiences in the world (which relates to power and privilege, as do race and ethnicity) and socialization patterns that reinforce the importance of relationships vs. task, substance vs. process, immediacy vs. long-term outcomes. As a result, men and women will often approach conflictive situations with differing mindsets about the desired outcomes from the situation, as well as the set of possible solutions that may exist.

Knowledge (general and situational): Parties respond to given conflicts on the basis of the knowledge they may have about the issue at hand. This includes situation-specific knowledge (i.e., "Do I understand what is going on here?") and general knowledge (i.e., "Have I experienced this type of situation before?" or "Have I studied about similar situations before?"). Such information can influence the person's willingness to engage in efforts to manage the conflict, either reinforcing confidence to deal with the dilemma or undermining one's willingness to flexibly consider alternatives.

Impressions of the Messenger: If the person sharing the message - the messenger - is perceived to be a threat (powerful, scary, unknown, etc.), this can influence our responses to the overall situation being experienced. For example, if a big scary-looking guy is approaching me rapidly, yelling "Get out of the way!" I may respond differently than if a diminutive, calm person would express the same message to me. As well, if I knew either one of them previously, I might respond differently based upon that prior sense of their credibility: I am more inclined to listen with respect to someone I view as credible than if the message comes from someone who lacks credibility and integrity in my mind.

Previous experiences: Some of us have had profound, significant life experiences that continue to influence our perceptions of current situations. These experiences may have left us fearful, lacking trust, and reluctant to take risks. On the other hand, previous experiences may have left us confident, willing to take chances and experience the unknown. Either way, we must acknowledge the role of previous experiences as elements of our perceptual filter in the current dilemma.

These factors (along with others) conspire to form the perceptual filters through which we experience conflict. As a result, our reactions to the threat and dilemma posed by conflict should be anticipated to include varying understandings of the situation. This also means that we can anticipate that in many conflicts there will be significant misunderstanding of each other's perceptions, needs and feelings. These challenges contribute to our emerging sense, during conflict, that the situation is overwhelming and unsolvable. As such, they become critical sources of potential understanding, insight and possibility.

Conflict With Someone : How Do Your Respon

In addition to the behavioral responses summarized by the various conflict styles, we have emotional, cognitive and physical responses to conflict. These are important windows into our experience during conflict, for they frequently tell us more about what is the true source of threat that we perceive; by understanding our thoughts, feelings and physical responses to conflict, we may get better insights into the best potential solutions to the situation.

Emotional responses: These are the feelings we experience in conflict, ranging from anger and fear to despair and confusion. Emotional responses are often misunderstood, as people tend to believe that others feel the same as they do. Thus, differing emotional responses are confusing and, at times, threatening.

Cognitive responses: These are our ideas and thoughts about a conflict, often present as inner voices or internal observers in the midst of a situation. Through sub-vocalization (i.e., self-talk), we come to understand these cognitive responses. For example, we might think any of the following things in response to another person taking a parking spot just as we are ready to park:
"That jerk! Who does he think he is! What a sense of entitlement!" or:
"I wonder if he realizes what he has done. He seems lost in his own thoughts. I hope he is okay." or:
"What am I supposed to do? Now I'm going to be late for my meeting… Should I say something to him? What if he gets mad at me?"
Such differing cognitive responses contribute to emotional and behavioral responses, where self-talk can either promote a positive or negative feedback loop in the situation.

Physical responses: These responses can play an important role in our ability to meet our needs in the conflict. They include heightened stress, bodily tension, increased perspiration, tunnel vision, shallow or accelerated breathing, nausea, and rapid heartbeat. These responses are similar to those we experience in high-anxiety situations, and they may be managed through stress management techniques. Establishing a calmer environment in which emotions can be managed is more likely if the physical response is addressed effectively.

Conflict & Worker Behavior

Conflict is often best understood by examining the consequences of various behaviors at moments in time. These behaviors are usefully categorized according to conflict styles. Each style is a way to meet one's needs in a dispute but may impact other people in different ways.

Competing is a style in which one's own needs are advocated over the needs of others. It relies on an aggressive style of communication, low regard for future relationships, and the exercise of coercive power. Those using a competitive style tend to seek control over a discussion, in both substance and ground rules. They fear that loss of such control will result in solutions that fail to meet their needs. Competing tends to result in responses that increase the level of threat.

Accommodating, also known as smoothing, is the opposite of competing. Persons using this style yield their needs to those of others, trying to be diplomatic. They tend to allow the needs of the group to overwhelm their own, which may not ever be stated, as preserving the relationship is seen as most important. Avoiding is a common response to the negative perception of conflict. "Perhaps if we don't bring it up, it will blow over," we say to ourselves. But, generally, all that happens is that feelings get pent up, views go unexpressed, and the conflict festers until it becomes too big to ignore. Like a cancer that may well have been cured if treated early, the conflict grows and spreads until it kills the relationship. Because needs and concerns go unexpressedpeople are often confused, wondering what went wrong in a relationship.

Compromising is an approach to conflict in which people gain and give in a series of tradeoffs. While satisfactory, compromise is generally not satisfying. We each remain shaped by our individual perceptions of our needs and don't necessarily understand the other side very well. We often retain a lack of trust and avoid risk-taking involved in more collaborative behaviors.

Collaborating is the pooling of individual needs and goals toward a common goal. Often called "win-win problem-solving," collaboration requires assertive communication and cooperation in order to achieve a better solution than either individual could have achieved alone. It offers the chance for consensus, the integration of needs, and the potential to exceed the "budget of possibilities" that previously limited our views of the conflict. It brings new time, energy, and ideas to resolve the dispute meaningfully

Anticipating Conflicts Likely to Arise in the Workplace

Anticipating conflicts is useful in either situation for transforming these situations into opportunities for growth and learning. Consider

1.Are there seasonal peaks in our workload that tend to occur annually?
Chart the occurrence of such challenges, and consider whether they can be managed as a normal period of stress and transition. For example, a school had a large population of students who arrived after long bus rides without breakfast, who tended to arrive at school ready to fight. The school identified 10 minutes at the start of the day to give these students a healthy snack, and worked with teachers to pull out students who weren't yet ready for school before they became disruptive. After food and a little counseling, students entered their classrooms in a better frame of mind (and body) to participate.

2.Do we have channels for expressing normal problems and concerns in a predictable, reliable manner?
Staff meeting should be used as a tool for effective problem-solving in a range of situations, including anticipated conflicts. If such channels are perceived by staff as closed, unsafe, and non-productive, they will be replaced by gossip, 'end runs' and back-biting.

3.Are there certain factors in the environment that make problems worse, especially at times of conflict?
Take stock of your processes for managing during stressful times. Look at how phones are routed, noise is managed, client lines are queued, distractions are managed, etc. Often, our response during times of stress is to meet less frequently, because 'we have no time to meet.' And we continue to do things the way we've been doing them, because 'we have no time to create new procedures.' This approach dooms us to repeat the same errors, rather than to learn from the opportunities. Examine your systems for managing problems, including dispute resolution systems, and use times of "harmony" to identify process improvements that can be implemented in times of stress.

Conflict is Normal?

Consider your own work environment for a moment:
1.What are some key sources of conflict in our workplace?
2.When do they tend to occur?
3.How do people respond to these conflicts as they arise?
4.When we solve problems, do we do so for the moment, or do we put in place systems for addressing these types of concerns in the future?

In reflecting upon your answers to these questions, you may begin to understand what we mean by anticipating conflicts likely to arise in the workplace: Normal, healthy organizations will experience their share of conflict, and workplaces experiencing a certain amount of dysfunction will experience it in greater quantities.

When We Talk About Conflict

A conflict is more than a mere disagreement - it is a situation in which people perceive a threat (physical, emotional, power, status, etc.) to their well-being. As such, it is a meaningful experience in people's lives, not to be shrugged off by a mere, "it will pass…"
Participants in conflicts tend to respond on the basis of their perceptions of the situation, rather than an objective review of it. As such, people filter their perceptions (and reactions) through their values, culture, beliefs, information, experience, gender, and other variables. Conflict responses are both filled with ideas and feelings that can be very strong and powerful guides to our sense of possible solutions.
As in any problem, conflicts contain substantive, procedural, and psychological dimensions to be negotiated. In order to best understand the threat perceived by those engaged in a conflict, we need to consider all of these dimensions.
Conflicts are normal experiences within the work environment. They are also, to a large degree, predictable and expectable situations that naturally arise as we go about managing complex and stressful projects in which we are significantly invested. As such, if we develop procedures for identifying conflicts likely to arise, as well as systems through which we can constructively manage conflicts, we may be able to discover new opportunities to transform conflict into a productive learning experience.
Creative problem-solving strategies are essential to positive approaches to conflict management. We need to transform the situation from one in which it is 'my way or the highway' into one in which we entertain new possibilities that have been otherwise elusive

Conflict at Workplace?

We define conflict as a disagreement through which the parties involved perceive a threat to their needs, interests or concerns. Within this simple definition there are several important understandings that emerge:

Disagreement - Generally, we are aware there is some level of difference in the positions of the two (or more) parties involved in the conflict. But the true disagreement versus the perceived disagreement may be quite different from one another. In fact, conflict tends to be accompanied by significant levels of misunderstanding that exaggerate the perceived disagreement considerably. If we can understand the true areas of disagreement, this will help us solve the right problems and manage the true needs of the parties.

Parties involved - There are often disparities in our sense of who is involved in the conflict. Sometimes, people are surprised to learn they are a party to the conflict, while other times we are shocked to learn we are not included in the disagreement. On many occasions, people who are seen as part of the social system (e.g., work team, family, company) are influenced to participate in the dispute, whether they would personally define the situation in that way or not. In the above example, people very readily "take sides" based upon current perceptions of the issues, past issues and relationships, roles within the organization, and other factors. The parties involved can become an elusive concept to define.

Perceived threat - People respond to the perceived threat, rather than the true threat, facing them. Thus, while perception doesn't become reality per se, people's behaviors, feelings and ongoing responses become modified by that evolving sense of the threat they confront. If we can work to understand the true threat (issues) and develop strategies (solutions) that manage it (agreement), we are acting constructively to manage the conflict.

Needs, interests or concerns - There is a tendency to narrowly define "the problem" as one of substance, task, and near-term viability. However, workplace conflicts tend to be far more complex than that, for they involve ongoing relationships with complex, emotional components. Simply stated, there are always procedural needs and psychological needs to be addressed within the conflict, in addition to the substantive needs that are generally presented. And the durability of the interests and concerns of the parties transcends the immediate presenting situation. Any efforts to resolve conflicts effectively must take these points into account.

So, is it still a simple definition of conflict? We think so, but we must respect that within its elegant simplicity lies a complex set of issues to address. Therefore, it is not surprising that satisfactory resolution of most conflicts can prove so challenging and time consuming to address.
Conflicts occur when people (or other parties) perceive that, as a consequence of a disagreement, there is a threat to their needs, interests or concerns. Although conflict is a normal part of organization life, providing numerous opportunities for growth through improved understanding and insight, there is a tendency to view conflict as a negative experience caused by abnormally difficult circumstances. Disputants tend to perceive limited options and finite resources available in seeking solutions, rather than multiple possibilities that may exist 'outside the box' in which we are problem-solving.

Telephone Etiquette For Worker

What is telephone etiquette? It is the correct or professional manners or courtesies one should have when using the telephone.

Why bother with telephone courtesies? When you speak over the telephone, you are the voice of your company. To the caller, you represent the company. Quality products and services must be complemented with courteous and efficient services on the telephone. This is for building good public relations between your company and clients.

Unfortunately, we can be overwhelmed by the stress of the day and make these common mistakes when answering the telephone:
1.Allowing the telephone to ring for too long
2.Mumbling, speaking too fast and talking with food in the mouth
3.Putting on an ascent
4.No greetings
5.Rude, impatient and unfriendly reply
6.Shouting or raising your voice when you cannot hear the caller clearly
7.Not addressing the caller by his name
8.Holding two conversation at the same time
9.Making the caller wait unnecessarily
10.Failure to check the caller’s name and other details for return call
11.Taking complaints as personal criticism
12.Slamming the telephone down before the caller finishes talking
Simple steps, such as, answering calls promptly (within three rings), speaking with a clear and normal tone of voice, putting a ‘smile’ in your voice and being helpful to the caller, can be learnt quickly by anyone in your office. If you are feeling irritated or moody, try not to let it be reflected in your voice - take a deep breathe and count to ten (or less) before answering the call. Otherwise, take a break.

What are telephone techniques? This is an art of using the telephone correctly and effectively, to achieve one’s goals. Good telephone techniques pave the way for effective communication between our callers and us. It also helps to save time and achieve our objective in making the telephone call. Bad techniques may cause irritation, loss of business and reflect poorly on the company.

Build a rapport with the caller from the onset to ward off any feeling of uneasiness or anxiety when the call is made. Once the rapport is established, it would be easy for us to communicate the information required to the caller.

So, how can we establish this rapport with the caller? Well, it’s all in the person’s attitude. As this mode of communication relies on the message relay through our VOICE, having a positive attitude and speaking with the right tone of voice are essential for the caller to get the message correctly. Good posture will also help to control your voice. Start to practise these techniques and remember the golden rule: do unto others what you would like others to do unto you.

Telephone Techniques in the Workplace

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, never did he dream that his invention would create an unprecedented historical impact on how we communicate with one another. The telephone has become so much a part of our lives that it would seem incomprehensible to live without one! Most of our communication, whether personal or business, is initiated and conducted via the telephone. Whilst technology has since advanced greatly to allow us to send SMS or e-mails through various innovative gadgets, we can never downplay the importance of our telephone, whether PABX system, cordless or not.

One day, someone came to see of my bosses. As he was walking in, he was screaming into his handphone. It was awfully loud and disruptive to our concentration. Have you ever wondered how the person on the other end of the line would perceive you as a caller? Or you may have a bad day. As soon as you step into the office, you find your phone ringing incessantly and you pick it up and bark: “Hello, what do you want?” I would think that a bad impression would have already been formed in the mind of the caller, even though he may be your friend. In the workplace, this can translate to bad image for your company as a whole.

First impression plays a major role in determining whether you want to further the acquaintanceship or steer clear from that person. Likewise, in a telephone conversation, the first few words you utter will determine the ‘tone’ of the conversation. If you sounded cheerful, the caller would be equally receptive to talk and you may even find yourself an invaluable friend or client. It is critical that every time you pick up a call, you make a good impression. Good telephone etiquette is an asset, irrespective whether you are a receptionist or the CEO of a company.

What Do I do? Still have A Work Or Not

Even some HR departments find the details of employee retirement planning a haze: let's not talk about the employees themselves! And the problem is not limited to employees at the lower end of the pay scale. Even PhDs may not understand the difference between a defined-benefit and a defined-contribution plan. Many employees erroneously believe investing in their own company stock to be safer than investing in a diversified stock fund.

The average investor is often overly optimistic, expecting a 16% return in annual gains from the stock market, a level that is way above the average of about 10.5 percent a year. The lack of knowledge about risk and return is worrying. Furthermore, although the key to surviving stock market ups and downs is having a diversified portfolio, it has been shown in the United States that the average person there is invested in only 3.3 funds out of a possible 8,282 mutual funds (Vanguard Group study). If you're ready to start, take on the task of demystifying the retirement system by speaking with your HR manager about your corporate retirement plans. Find out what happens to your contribution in planning different scenarios - stock market crash, discharge from the company, leaving the company, etc. Is there a vesting period for company stock options? How much of company stock are employees' pension plan/fund required to hold? Should there be enough interest in this topic, request that the HR department make a presentation on the topic, or suggest they invite an external financial advisor to talk about the issue to all employees.

Essentially, employers do have the burden of ensuring substantial efforts have been made to clarify how they support your corporate retirement/pension funds or how the company stock option plan works. On your own part, you should try to educate yourself on diversity and asset allocation. You can speak to financial advisors from your local bank on unit trusts, mutual funds or check out their corporate web page for information. Look for website resources on how to plan for your financial future. Speak to people with experience in managing their retirement funds.

When Said Card

The past months have been one of earth-shaking events, and I mean that in an entirely literal sense: the tragedy of 11 Sept, the war in Afghanistan, Iraq and of course, the crisis in corporate confidence that began with Enron.

Enron’s effects reverberated throughout the world. It forced us to face up to the reality of a selfish society that looked out for number one. It also forced us to realise that our actions have consequences on a larger entity. With reference to corporate confidence, it forced us to question the idea of employer accountability and responsibility, and how it affects our future.

WorldCom, Arthur Andersen, et al, have come to represent a new type of villainy - one where corporate executives cashed out and loyal employees lost both their jobs and retirement savings. We live in corrupt times, a time where the line between opportunity and crime have become so blurred that a league of management have closed both eyes in pursuit of greed. Business schools taught its students about creating wealth for its stakeholders - including its employees. With more and more companies being investigated for accounting fraud, one begins to ask who the actual stakeholders are, and what are the consequences. For every man and woman who believed in the espoused corporate value that "company employees are the most valued of assets and resources," there is a sinking feeling that we may instead be betrayed.

When Should You Resign?

Never resign spontaneously or because you have had a difference of opinion in the office or a disagreement. Resigning is a tough decision and should always be well thought through and planned, so that you don't find yourself in a difficult position.

Jenny Tan worked as a buyer for a design company. Artists would send her their work and she would decide whether to buy them or not to be printed on gift cards. Her taste was different from her bosses and often she would be criticised in front of other colleagues about the art she bought. Although she could accept that their tastes differed, she tried to buy in the interests of the company and work that she thought the general public would like. After working there for two years, again her boss degraded her buying ability. Jenny simply picked up her bag and never returned. 'I am shy by nature and this was not the right thing to do, but I could not take his criticism anymore and felt like crying. I got so wound up that I could not return. My boss was a very influential man and called up his contacts and told them not to employ me. It got so bad that when I applied for new jobs even the receptionist would be a little funny to me on the phone!' Although Jenny was not in the wrong, she did not have as much influence as her boss and he made her hunt for a new job. Eventually Jenny found a new position in a rival company, but she regrets not resigning in a more professional manner with something confirmed to go to. 'It was a waste of my time and energy, if only I had not acted hastily it would've saved me a lot of stress.'

Resigning does not have to be a negative experience for both you and your employer. If you play your cards right you can leave with a good taste in your mouth and perhaps the offer that you can have your job back at any time. You should always resign for a positive reason: perhaps you have been offered a career advancement in another company, perhaps you are starting your own business, and perhaps you are starting a family. If you are moving to a different company ensure everything is signed and sealed before you leave such as contacts and the package you require. Don't leave until everything is secured and you are 100% sure that your next move will be smooth.

Thomas Hyde decided to look for another job while he was still working for his current employee, an international music company. He had several interviews and was offered a job with a similar company but for a larger package. He thought that everything had been arranged and had even been given the date to start working at the new company. He decided to resign from his current employee and was confident in the decision he had made. However, he had not signed a contract with the new employee and after resigning received a call from them telling him that the position was not available. They were sorry but they could not employ him. Tom was dismayed and felt terribly foolish. His current employer had been swift to employ someone new and he was left without a job. 'It was so humiliating, here I was without a job after working all my life, if only I had signed a contract, I acted far too hastily,' Tom added. Tom learnt from the experience and eventually secured a job with yet another company, but at a loss to his salary!

Beckham & Pepsi

As England captain David Beckham was doing his best to defend himself against accusations that soccer had become an afterthought in his diary behind celebrity interviews and sponsorship photo shoots, several of his interrogators were sipping from Pepsi cans emblazoned with an image of him dressed as a gladiator.
Such is the confusion that arises when you try to distinguish between Beckham the brand and Beckham the man that even he finds it difficult to explain or differentiate.
On the one hand, he seems to crave a life away from the paparazzi lens but on the other, he has consented to so many endorsements you can no more escape his image during a cosy chat in a Lisbon suburb with the man himself than you can at a London underground station.
Even so, it was difficult to withhold all sympathy as he described a lifestyle that, he said, prevents him driving his two sons in the park without a fleet of photographers for company.
What Beckham does not seem to comprehend is that most England supporters could not care a jot about his celebrity lifestyle or his alleged affairs. They care only about the toll those problems have taken on his soccer career, leaving him not only visibly drained on the pitch but a shadow of the inspirational captain he once was.
Throughout Euro 2004, he denied any fitness problem and, perversely, his obvious inability to shuffle up and down the right wing led some observers to conclude he was deliberately restraining his attacking instincts for the good of the team when the truth was that he was simply worn out.
He admitted: "We don't do as much conditioning work in Madrid as we did at (Manchester) United. I didn't feel as fit in the second half of games as I did the season before and maybe that spilt over into this tournament."
He is aware that knives are being sharpened, but nooses were being tightened around his effigy after he was sent off against Argentina in France 98, another game lost on penalties.
He reasons that as he recovered from that to become a national hero, his recent difficulties should not prevent him reinventing himself again

The Dual-career Syndrome

You roll out of bed as your spouse’s alarm shatters the eardrums. Rubbing your eyes, you shuffle to the kitchen and get breakfast done whilst your spouse takes a wake up shower to prepare for corporate battle. Handing over the Tupperware-ed lunch you fixed, you say: “Bye, dear! Have a good day at work!” And she’s off. Welcome to the world of the Househusband.

More and more, this phenomenon of the “stay-at-home-dad” or the “home-engineer” amongst men has been slowly coming out of the closet in modern times. A recent article in Fortune magazine plastered the image of the dear house-hubby adorned with apron and three daughters. Is this merely a sensationalised story, or is there hope for corporate women out there?

But, before I let all rip, let’s examine the statistics. In a trend that shows no signs of slowing, men now get fewer than 50% of the university degrees offered. Very un-PC, I know, but the fact is, more and more men are disappearing from the floor of the lecture halls. Although males still dominate in more traditional industries, such as engineering, there has been a steady decline in the participation of males in higher education. This is juxtaposed by the incredible growth of educated women as equal opportunity policies became de rigeur. And the hits keep on coming. Companies have more women on their payroll than ever, and women managers and senior executives are becoming commonplace these days. A recent study in Harvard even stated that at least 30% of working wives earn more than their husbands.

“Open your eyes. There is a sea change on the way. I noticed that at the local university, the women outnumber the men in noticeable amounts. My wife noted recently while visiting a relative in the hospital, that most of the young doctors were female. As a male, I'm sure that the future is female, and women will be in charge in every field by the next twenty years,“ reaffirms Jenny, a 40 year-old househusband.

As such, corporate policies and practices have been adjusted accordingly (think flexi-time, maternity leave and day-care), but perhaps the bigger issue would be the effect on the traditional family structure we all know and sometimes debate.

In the 50’s, a working woman was nearly unheard of. The man was still bringing home the bacon and women were mastering the art of making the home and nurturing the children. Then came liberalisation and feminism movements that helped women claw their way into the battle bunkers of the corporate world. Dual-income careers are what the majority of households possess today, and with that, the additional stress of making a home and family life work without the parents’ involvement. Sure, we still make it work, but with a lot of difficulty and challenge. And the ones who hurt the most are often the children. So what’s the latest remedy society has offered up to deal with this predicament?

Management leading a team in chaotic times

1. Act not too hastily

Moments after the attack, the world expected the President to unleash a wave of military fury on the Taliban and Osama's network quickly in the game. Yet, the government took the time to deliberate on their next move -- gathering information on the situation and plotting a plan for action. This tactic gained international respect. As a corporate leader, if your employees deem your strategy rash, its implementation will be jeapoardised by lack of conviction from within the ranks. Ensure that even when hasty measures are required, proper investigation into the matter is made known to your employees.

2. Time to make your leadership known

As a Prime Minister whose initial credibility was precarious to say the least, Dato' Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi emerged a real leader amongst the nation as he stepped up to the mantle and took responsibility for Malaysia's turnaround. It is key that as management, you make it known to your "troops" that you stand with them and lead them forward through uncertainty. Personally meet with them and share progress of the company regularly. Seeing your face and having your presence on the ground tells them that you stand with them in difficult times ahead. If they know you are committed, they will be too.

3. Communicate, communicate, communicate

Throughout the weeks following the attacks, the government consistently and frequently provided the public with need-to-know information on the situation at hand, and how the investigations were proceeding. The President's speech to Congress and the nation produced a tremendous support for his actions and motivated a positive change in the nation's attitude from fear to courage. Further, he met with the public affected by the event, listening to their personal trials -- getting an on-ground feel for the public's sentiment on the situation. In times of turmoil, mutual knowledge-sharing is key in ensuring the accurate and valuable information is provided both to and from the people involved so that the big picture of what needs to be done is developed holistically.

4. Rally them around a common mission

In the case of the Malaysia, Prime Minister Abdullah Badawi did not find it hard to rally the public and government factions around a singular cause - to regain their freedom to live without fear. The effect was astounding - political and social differences forgotten, forging a unity towards a mission across the nation and around the world. Similarly, especially in turbulent times, it is essential that employees realise why they might be facing pay cuts, why colleagues are being laid off or why they are burdened by longer working hours. When the scenario is mapped out clearly and a common goal identified - employees will understand their place in the scheme of things and why measures have to be taken.

5. Realise the power of networks

A global coalition of nations was developed with deft political manoeuvrings. What this created was a network of partners who built up a cooperation of abilities, resources and support. For a company facing a hazy future, this can come in the form of relationships with suppliers, vendors, business contacts, your unions and even former employees. In times of economic strife, parties are always looking for the ability to leverage networking advantages. This mentality should be inculcated into the minds of staff in seeking out opportunities towards a clear corporate goal.

6. Give them a share in accountability for success

The worst feeling to have is one of helplessness, especially when faced with an uncertain and fearful future. President Bush placed the responsibility for the nation back into the hands of its people -- to revive the economy, continue with life and support the government's actions. And it seems that they are doing that slowly but surely. A company without the support of its employees will never succeed in any initiative. The knowledge of possible layoffs can be an incredible demotivator - a dangerous thing for a company relying on its resources for survival. Rather than treating them as drones at a desk and trusting that they will get on with work as usual, show them how their actions contribute and give them a real stake in the company's revival.

7. Don't leave them hanging

A pillar of the Malaysia's economy, the airline industry plummeted to despairing depths of unemployment and activity. The government realised that they had to step in to float the industry or face further social and economical uncertainty. Management's assistance come in various different forms - acknowledgement of efforts, emotional support or technical knowledge. If you rely on your teams to bring the company back from the brink, you cannot leave them hanging as they do so. More than ever, this is where your role becomes an essential tool of support for success.

Cyber Venting: Healthy Therapy?

What is it about the Internet that lets us think we have the world as our therapist? It used to be the half-hour breakfast griping sessions or the huddle at the office pantry. Now workers are finding new ways to vent their frustrations or air their opinions about their employers and careers.

Cyber venting has arisen. Akin to a Catholic confessional booth, simple message boards on Yahoo to more dedicated wailing walls in the likes of www.workingwounded.com represent the forum for this catharsis. Here employees find a safe haven amongst the other like-minded disgruntled to vent and share their anonymous emotional upheavals and professional disappointments to sympathetic listeners.
"I have been passed up for my due promotion for the 3rd time at work. Is my boss just blind or plain discriminatory to my gender?!""Management is useless, poor and simple. Why don't they pay me USD100,000 to collect information? No, instead they would rather hire a vulture of a consultant. Great job, guys."

The messages range from discontent with management to more serious instances of flagrant rage. Whatever the message may be, it is raising public relations headaches and managerial nightmares for employers. Because such messages are hard to be accounted for or traced, employers can never be sure if the post is being authored by an employee or if the source is a saboteur wanting to bring the competition down. The impact can be great on the company, particularly if it is sending the message of impending layoffs or poor financial performance. Whilst some companies have gone to the extent of suing for libel, cyber laws in the region are still in their infancy, and the question of who's to blame and who has the right-to-say-what are still hanging in the air.

But perhaps, management should take a more proactive approach. There is much that management can do to quell dissent and address the issue. Companies have begun to set up their own anonymous intranets that allow their employees to vent within corporate walls, without fear or favour. Further, certain strains of management have begun skulking public message boards such as www.icered.com to listen in on what their employees are saying. On www.vault.com, CEOs and senior management have been known to break silence and come forth with statements of their own.

Senior management are beginning to take the initiative to use such focus groups to gain a better understanding of the people on the ground. Rather than trying to spin-doctor their way through the negative vibes, employers need to take advantage of the information culture and use the medium to tell the truth, to clear misstatements and to be honest. The savvy workforce today can smell a lie a byte away. Advice to managers is to hide nothing and gain respect from employees through upfront honesty. They may not like you, but they will at least respect you. And that is a rarity in this corporate day. Who knows how else the corporate grapevine will “metamorphosise” in the coming years? Perhaps I'll pop in on www.icered.com and find out for myself? See you there!

How to Prepare for Involuntary Separation

Nobody wants to be laid off, but who’s to say if you’re not going to be next. You might as well be ready when the axe falls on you. Here’s how to prepare for this eventuality. Over the years, I have separated hundreds of employees involuntarily. It is a very difficult task to do as an HR professional. And no matter how many times you have done it, you will never get used to it. For it always leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

Invariably, one can’t avoid talking to these employees just before, or even long after, their employment ends. My formal and informal talks with them always lead to any one of these questions: a) What could I have done differently to prevent me from getting laid off? b) What should I have done to ensure that I could easily find another job after being laid off? c) What could I have done that would have allowed me to survive involuntary separation?

Once, we had to force into retirement a junior manager of our company. He was in his late 40s and had been with the firm for almost 20 years. He was not a bad performer, but neither was he outstanding. He had been merely happy to coast along. When the company was doing well, his contribution was considered adequate. However, when crunch time hit and jobs had to be cut, his performance was deemed way below that of his peers. Thus, the axe fell on him.

During the exit interview, he admitted to me that there was no one to blame but himself. He had been content just to coast along-getting his assignments done on time, but never going the extra mile. He had seldom, if ever, taken the initiative. He also never exerted much effort to develop himself professionally. Many of the managers who were hired at about the same time as he had overtaken him - they were already senior managers or executives while he was still a junior executive.

I remember another organisation I worked for, which, when acquired by another company, had to let go many of the executives and managers. Only three of us were retained. More than a year later, the former president of the company invited all of us to a get-together at her place. After exchanging the normal greetings, everyone gave updates on how they were doing. From the contributions, I was able to draw a few conclusions.

Those who landed good jobs immediately had a great deal of exposure outside the company. They networked in their chosen profession a lot and were active in their professional organizations. They also knew many people, some of whom served as impressive references. A few of them got their jobs through friends and contacts, others through headhunting agencies. Those who were forced to take “undesirable” jobs, or who were still jobless at the time, had limited or no social contacts outside the company. They were very good performers, mind you. Some were even better than those who immediately landed new jobs. During their employment with the company, however, they were either too focused on their job or did not develop outside contacts. Thus, they were virtually unknown outside the company. Early on in my career, I joined a textile company that eventually folded up. While working in that company, I was with a group known as the Poker Club. We were all senior managers who would meet twice a month to play poker. When the company closed, we also went our separate ways.

I moved down south to work in a start-up company. After three years, I moved back to work for another company. I visited the members of the Poker Club one by one and found out that different fates had befallen them. One of them had moved to another company and was doing all right. Two others went into business and were doing badly. One was into construction subcontracting and could barely meet his payroll needs. The other was into the poultry business and was hardly making both ends meet. However, two others became very rich. One had a large auto parts and accessories store, an auto repair shop, a bakery, and a restaurant. The other had a prestigious elementary school in the village where he and his family lived.

What was the difference between those who were doing well and those who were not? The latter only started their business ventures after they left the company. The one who went into subcontracting did not have enough contacts to land big contracts (which he could have cultivated even while he was still gainfully employed, since he already knew the business then). The one who went into poultry farming thought it was easy running this kind of business even if he knew nothing about it. The successful ones, on the other hand, already had ongoing concerns when they went full-time into their businesses. The guy who eventually ventured into the auto supply business started with a repair shop. When he got unemployed, he used his separation pay to start up the auto parts and accessories store. His customers in the repair shop were already a captive market, who would benefit from a one-stop shop and his very competitive prices. It wasn’t long before his clientele grew. His wife was already operating the bakery when he was laid off. She soon branched out into the restaurant business after her husband was terminated, using his separation pay as capital. The one who had an elementary school already had a preschool, which was being run by his wife, when he lost his job. He used his separation pay to extend the school facilities and expand the preschool to include elementary. When I visited him again a couple of years back, he had just graduated his first batch of high school students and had started expanding to include college courses. These real-life stories teach us valuable lessons which, when applied, would minimise our chances of being involuntarily separated or, assuming the inevitable happens, help ensure that we would easily find another job or succeed in other ventures outside of employment. First, do not be complacent in your job. Strive to excel so that the company will find it difficult to let you go. Second, open yourself to the world. Do not just limit your life to your work-join professional organisations, develop external contacts and make yourself known in your chosen field. Third, do not depend completely on your job. If possible, start a business even while you’re still employed. It does not have to be a large one. You can start small. If you are too busy in your work, have your spouse or someone else you can trust run it. If it succeeds, you may even leave your job so you can make it grow further. As a saying goes, “Wise is he who learns from his own experience. But wiser is he who learns from other people’s experience.” In other words, do not wait for something to happen before you act. Do it now!

Journey To self-Discovery

I commute by LRT to my workplace five days a week. I meet people everywhere, jostling to catch the train to reach their destination for the day’s work. Imagine spending almost half your life working an average of 40 hours a week to earn a living to provide sustenance to yourself and family.

Have you ever felt your working life is stifled at some point and you are confined to the routines? At times, you sense a small voice calling you toward something unknown and risky, yet more congruent with your own truth. Have you ever embarked on a journey of self-discovery? So many of us listen to what others tell us to do when we were growing up. Be a doctor. Law is good. Or why don’t you be an engineer. Such recommendations are given with all good intentions because these vocations are respected and pay well. We may compromise and even grow to accept it and thrive to make a living out of it. But deep inside, if you do not have the passion for the work, there would seem to be a hollow feeling of unfulfilled dreams and aspirations.

A famous quote ‘Let Your Life Speak’ holds such profound meaning to me because it’s important to know that I am living my life as I am meant to be in my lifetime. Anything which falls out of this purpose just isn’t good enough.

How Long Is Too long In One Job?

This question was posed in an international survey by global recruitment firm Robert Walters to 6,000 people from 14 countries. In Australia, 40 per cent said that more than five years was too long to stay in a job, 32 per cent said more than 10 years was too long, 20 per cent more than three years, six per cent believed more than two years, and two per cent more than one year. This compared to the global average of 30 per cent for over 10 years, 42 per cent for over five years, 20 per cent for over three years, six per cent for more than 2 years, and two per cent for more than one year.

Robert Walters Melbourne director David Chancellor said organisations should realise that people like to move around: "Organisations that allow their employees to move on a regular basis internally and prefer to promote from within are the ones where people will stay for a long time. No time is too long in a company if you are constantly being presented with new challenges."

Reason For Integrity

1. Lack of Discipline

Honesty is the best virtue and we should start with ourselves. That is why early parental guidance in the development of a child is essential to nurture him to be a disciplined person who will grow up to be responsible in his dealings with his friends, colleagues or superior in the corporate world. Learning to set priorities is an important part of dealing with integrity. If not, we will find ourselves becoming a ‘people pleaser’ and constantly shying away from making a stand for our beliefs. " You don’t have to remember a truth, but you always have to work doubly hard to remember a lie in case you are found out later - whom you lied to, what you lied about, when you created the lie - and this will always affect your integrity."

2.Power & Control

Gossiping in the office is an art that you either love to master or hate to indulge in. In a way, gossiping is a way of avoiding confrontation with the person or issue at hand and most of the time, it has no benefit to the company or the gossiper. It only breaks the integrity of the gossiper. If gossiping about others makes you feel powerful, perhaps you should look at yourself and ask why you are still powerless. Be impeccable with your words. Speak with integrity and you will be respected for it.

3.Greed

Infringement of corporate governance in the name of creating a flourishing picture of earnings and questionable accounting practices, to name a few, would perhaps have been instigated by greed and lack of judgment in exercising integrity. When the interest of shareholders and the public at large is being compromised, the trust factor will be affected. The loss of investors’ confidence, unfortunately, cannot be reversed instantly once it is damaged. Always go back to the benchmarks that you have set before yourself when making decisions that question your integrity personally and seek a way to share your thoughts with your close associates. Let your conscience be the guiding force to your action. We may have rules and regulations pasted on the notice boards or circulated within the office, but how can we make it workable?

4.Job Orientation

Awareness of the work culture of an organisation is a good starting point to orientate a new staff from the start of his career with the company on the values and working standards that are expected from him. The superior has the role to talk to his new staff about the work culture, job expectation etc. Creating a rapport with the new staff would help to reduce any sense of suspicion between both parties in terms of work expectation and the ‘dos and don’ts’.

5.Transparency

The codes of conduct of the Board of Directors, for example, help the directors to be aware of their responsibilities to the company as a whole. Shareholders should take the opportunity to read the Annual Report of the company and take an interest in the management of the company. So, honestly, do the right thing. If I tell you that I have not lied before in my life, I would be the biggest liar of all. Do nothing that needs a cover-up. Seek the truth and the truth shall set you free.

Integrity At Work

Integrity. We deal with this underlying moral issue in our everyday life. Most of our parents would have taught us during our growing up years that we must inculcate this virtue because it is the right thing to do. What is integrity? It means honesty - keeping to one’s word even if it costs us dearly to do so. If you pledge to ‘love, honour and cherish your spouse until death do you part’, you must honour that promise. If you agree to do a task, you must do it.

Sadly, there are just too many news to exemplify our compromises on the issue of integrity in the corporate world and it has somehow, become a norm and an ‘acceptable’ fashion at work. A deceitful lie may start out as something trivial, like lying to your mother that you did not eat the chocolate but you did or you call in your office for sick leave when you are actually not sick. Though a white lie is small and relatively harmless, it can become a bigger issue in life, for example, in the scandal of the Enron Corp case which has indeed eroded investors’ confidence to a low due to dishonest representation of corporate earnings. The end result is always not promising - you may get scolded by your mother, your boss may find you unreliable and a broken confidence of the investors which will take some time to build up again.

Why do we compromise our integrity? Every once in a while, we lie to our parents, friends, boss or clients as a form of denial of the facts or as a protection to ourselves from confrontation - so what is the big deal, you may ask? Well, lack of integrity only compounds a problem.

Tips to Help You Avoid Becoming a VIictim

I want to give you tips to help you avoid becoming a victim of downsizing and increase your career advancement potential.

1.Survival is to realise it can happen to you.

It is amazing how many people just sit back and wait for the ax to fall. They didn’t see it coming and did not have time to prepare for change. Many people assume it’s never going to happen to them because of their long service and value to the company. Make sure you don’t fall into the trap of thinking it could never happen to you or you could end up being unprepared to survive economically or professionally. Remember, no matter how much your boss may like your, ultimately what matters is the bottom line.

2.Keep your eyes and ears open.
Be aware of what’s happening in your company. Hiring freezes, early retirements and other signs of what is called managed attrition are indications that your company is extremely serious about head count. Look for other warning signs. How are the company shares doing? Remember, while downsizing may be a bad word for workers, investors like it as it show the management is cutting costs. Also keep up with possible mergers involving your company. Look for when a merger is going to happen. When a merger happens, it is good news for the company and bad news for half the employees.

3. Should always be looking for new opportunities.
Never just sit still. You are in charge of your own career. Regardless of how secure you maybe in your job, you always need to be prepared to look for work in a volatile business climate. Even when you are working, you should stay abreast of the job market. Now is the perfect time to do some research. Keep reading the wanted ads in your field. Look for jobs in your field and see if the requirements listed are skills you possess. Take time to network and take on some informational interviews, if you hear of any. Make contacts with headhunters. Better still, sign up for online services that will keep you informed of new job opportunities, at no cost at all.

4. Always to keep your resume ready and fresh.
Always document your work and achievements because you’ll forget how significant most of your work is. Have them both in hard and soft-copy. Many online job sites, in fact, will allow you to store, edit and forward your resume to prospective employers.

5. To keep on learning and updating your skills.
L. Thurow, a well-known professor from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), says only three things matter in the New Economy: Skills, Skills and Skills! The skills you have today may not be needed in a few years-or even a few months-so start now to learn new ones. Take advantage of your company’s training programs or the many programmes funded by government agencies. For example, in Malaysia, the Ministry of Human Resource has a career centre called CareerLink@MOHR that can help you choose the right skills. The most popular programme right now is Graduate Training Scheme.

Work Today, Gone Tomorrow?

Some 30,000 workers are expected to lose their jobs in Malaysia this year. So far, 30,000 are on shorter workweeks. Companies are freezing wages and stopping recruitment. All signs point to an increasingly bleak economic outlook in the coming months. The fact is that, slowdown or not, companies have to keep on shedding lower-skilled staff as they restructure up the value chain to be competitive. Facing a layoff is fast becoming more and more a real prospect for many Malaysians. In this new and unpredictable job market, job security has gone the way of the dodo. To keep your job, you need to work smart. Do whatever it takes to make sure you're crucial to your company. But also have a plan, in case somebody thinks you're not so crucial.

If the worse happens, and you do lose your job in a retrenchment exercise, one of the first things you need to do is to examine your financial situation. Look at your resources and expenses. Check your contract to make sure you get your benefits. To know more about what your rights of employment or termination are, you can refer Human Resource Department (Jabatan Tenaga Kerja Malaysia) will answer your questions on workplace problems.

Then remember, life goes on. There are still many jobs out there, and more jobs being created everyday. Believe it or not, losing a job can actually offer an opportunity, as there is always a better one out there for you.